After Saturday’s trespass back into the world of sugar-eating I took a nap and went to work. My work is sometimes at long, odd hours. This time I went in at midnight and worked until eight AM on Sunday. I took a lunch to eat during the night but I ended up only eating one banana and one orange. I left my lunch at work for Monday. When I got home I didn’t eat and went to bed just a touch hungry. Some time mid-morning I woke up tired, and starving, so I got into our candy drawer (doesn’t everyone have a candy drawer in the bedroom) and got out two little Hershey treasures. Chocolate, mostly sugar. When I woke up at noon I was starving and I ate a small bowl of sweet potato and sausage soup. Then we went to a children’s birthday party. There were treats. Do you remember the scene in the movie Amadeus where, during a reception at the house of the arch-bishop, Herr Salieri wanders into the room where the sweets are ready for the party? These treats were like that, fancy, inviting, sweet and plentiful. I tried one of each. It started out innocent enough. I got myself some snacks that were not sugar-based. Fruits, meats, and a bread with a brown schmere topped by a banana slice. Turns out the brown was Nutella. I ate it. The granddaughter didn’t like hers, or her chocolate covered strawberry. Waste not, want not. The baby only ate the banana on hers. I’ll take care of the rest grandma. Granddaughter only ate a bite of her Rice Krispy treat, but we didn’t throw any away. Wonder where the rest went? The flood gates were open. I tried one of everything available.

Sigh

Well. All I can say is that i could feel the effects. I sweated in bed that night as I metabolized the sugar. This morning my hands felt hot and thick. I was irritable and felt as though I did not sleep well. I can’t say that it is a mystery why I dont feel in top form today. I could blame the long hours. If I was looking for some way to keep eating something that makes me feel bad, I could.

Never give up the struggle though. I did not lose anything by backsliding and I don’t think it will make it any easier or harder to not eat sweets today. Today is no different than it would be if yesterday were perfect like all the ones before it. I learned another lesson, namely, don’t let yourself starve, because that makes it that much harder to convince yourself to do what you should.