If you make something the way that it has been made for centuries, then you could rightly claim that your product is ‘authentic’. If you use only natural ingredients, the same ingredients that were in existence when your grandparents made it then you could call it ‘all natural’. In the past there have been fights about who could call their pizza “pizza”, who could call their butter “butter”, whether or not your swiss cheese was “Swiss” enough.

Now there is a fight over the word Mayo, which is a twist on the old fight. The fight is over mayonnaise, and Hellman’s wants to prove in court that a new-fangled competitor, Hampton Creek, who makes a vegetarian spread that they have called “Just Mayo” is confusing to the mayonnaise-buying public.

For my part I would love for Hellman’s to get into a fight over what is authentic. Back in the day all foods that were modified from the traditional, if they included an ingredient like margarine instead of butter, for instance, had to be called ‘imitation’. I like that. Margarine should be called imitation, in my opinion, and so should a bread that contains it. Something like Hellman’s that contains highly processed oils should be called ‘artificial mayonnaise’ or if the ‘egg’ they use in their product is an imitation egg protein, they should be called ‘imitation mayonnaise’. As a consumer, I would like to know if my foods are made the good old fashioned way, or are they made the new way, with Frankenstein ingredients, and only resemble real food. A new product that looks a bit like mayonnaise could call itself ‘mayo’ of course, which is a made up word, shortened but really does not mean mayonnaise any more than the word ‘spread’ means butter.

Hellman’s makes a product called ‘low-fat’ mayonnaise.

This is the ingredient list–WATER, MODIFIED CORN STARCH*, SOYBEAN OIL, VINEGAR, HIGH FRUCTOSE CORN SYRUP*, EGG WHITES, SALT, SUGAR, XANTHAM GUM*, LEMON AND LIME PEEL FIBERS*, COLORS ADDED*, LACTIC ACID*, (SODIUM BENZOATE*, CALCIUM DISODIUM EDTA) USED TO PROTECT QUALITY, PHOSPHORIC ACID*, NATURAL FLAVORS. GLUTEN-FREE.

Hellman’s the people who are suing another company for calling it’s all-natural ingredient product mayo, has a lot of nerve. This concoction they call ‘mayonnaise’ with a straight face.

Here is how I make my More Real Than Hellman’s Real Mayonnaise (TM): I put one egg yolk in a bowl, and I mix it with 2 teaspoons of home made kombucha mustard. Then I slowly whisk that with 1 cup of cooking oil to make an ’emulsion’. I fold in 2 teaspoons of lemon juice out of a real lemon. Salt to taste. I don’t need an ingredient label. My mayonnaise contains absolutely zero of the ingredients of Hellman’s Low-Fat ‘mayonnaise’–except water. My eggs naturally contain some water in them. My label would not need to list ‘water’ because it would list egg yolk.

I just think it’s hilarious that this company calls this mayonnaise and has a right to tell another company it can’t call it’s product ‘mayo’. Here is Hampton Creek’s ingredient list for mayo:

Non-GMO Expeller Pressed Canola Oil, Filtered Water, Lemon Juice, White Vinegar, 2% or less of the following: Organic Sugar, Salt, Pea Protein, Spices, Modified Food Starch, Beta-Carotene.*

This shares two ingredients with Hellman’s, water and modified corn starch.

I am gonna go out today and find some of this and try it.

I hope Hellman’s proves that only real mayonnaise can be called mayo, then they will have to rename their product, too. Plus, I had never heard of ‘Just Mayo’ until Unilever sued them. Win-Win if I ever heard of it.